Way back in 1984, we spent practically a whole lazy summer watching James Cameron’s The Terminator as we ate Wham bars and drank Tab Cola. Come summer’s end all we’d gained was acne, half a stone and a near-photographic memory of the movie. Oh, how times change. These days, that same summer experience will get you a degree from Cambridge University, no less. Sort of.

You see, the esteemed University is set to open a centre for ‘terminator studies’. On the face of it, that might sound like a department set up to train contestants whose specialist subject on Mastermind is “James Cameron movies from 1984”, but no. The Centre for the Study of Existential Risk (CSER) will study the threat that robots pose to humans. Rumours that Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of the tutors are at this time made up by us.

Until the CSER opens its doors though, here’s The Daily Slap’s top 5 ways of knowing if you’ve got a Terminator from the future after your ass.

1. The doorbell rings. You answer and the person says, “Sarah Connor?” Please be aware, no matter what you respond to this query, you’re seconds away from pushing up daisies.

2. The phone rings. You answer and the person says, “Sarah Connor?” Again, no matter how you answer, you’ve not got long left on earth so hurry up and finish the final chapter of Fifty Shades of Grey. In fact, it’s probably best you go ex-directory.

3. Kyle, a man claiming to be from the future says he’s been sent back to save you. To thank him, you put out on a first date (which is something you’d never normally do, honest) and get pregnant. In the future, your son sends Kyle back to save you – not shag you - effectively acting as a futuristic Paddy McGuinness – although you don’t get to go to the Isle of Fernandos. Which is all a bit icky really. Although, not as icky as Marty McFly’s mum having a crush on him.

4. You get headhunted by a defense firm called Cyberdyne Systems to develop a computer system called Skynet. Believe us, they might have dress down Fridays, a really hot HR manager and an unrivalled pension scheme but it’s really not worth it.

5. Be suspicious of anyone who looks like they might have a powerful metal endoskeleton hidden beneath an external layer of living tissue. And if they say, “I’ll be back”, for the love of Arnie, just run.

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